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Critical Kobold Game Reviews

     Whenever I take time out from reviewing movies to let my butt regain some feeling, I've been known to play some games. As long as I'm taking the time to learn these things, you can at least take the time to read about me learning about these things. What follows are some opinions about various games I've had the fortune, or misfortune, to stumble across in my years as a hard-core veteran gamer. (We kobolds aren't long-lived, but we get around...)

 

     As with my movie reviews, the reader is cautioned about several relevant facts:

  • The ratings given to games are based mostly on their Fun Factor. A game may be cheap and silly and consist of one thin rules pamphlet designed by a 12-year old, but if it's a blast to play, it gets a higher rating than some slick hardback professional multi-volume campaign setting that's boring and complicated.

  • The games are ranked on a scale of 1-5 Dice. The more Dice a game receives, the cooler it is.

1 Die = The game materials should be lit on fire and the ashes peed on by a gnoll.
2 Dice = The game's kinda' crappy. Something useful may be culled from its contents.
3 Dice = Enjoyable. Average in complexity, with acceptable entertainment value.
4 Dice = An exceptional game, worth playing repeatedly.
5 Dice = Frickin' outstanding game system! A game of this caliber must be played.

  • Within each review, I list some Good, Neutral, and Evil aspects of the game. Good aspects are ones that make me want to play the game. Neutral facets of the game add nothing to the system, but most likely won't detract from its play value either. Evil characteristics are stupid, unplayable, or otherwise annoying flaws to the game.

  • If you disagree with some of my evaluations, I don't care. I'm a kobold, dammit!

     With this in mind, read on, dear player, and glimpse the wonders of the gaming world...

Tabletop Game Reviews

Tabletop Game    Review Title   Review
Date 		  Rating 
             
             
Soft Landing   Great. Way to cause global environmental catastrophe, Bob.   6/11/2010   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
             
ZOMBIES!!!   Geez, It's Really Dead Downtown Tonight...     8/19/2009   (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice)
 
Adventure Tiles: Dungeons   Hey, nice tile! Is it Mexican?     4/5/2006   (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice)
 
Star Wars Miniatures: Rebel Storm   May The D20 Be With You!     1/29/2006   (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice)
 
Stikfas figures   Action heroes ready to assemble!     1/15/2006   (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice)
 
Pirates of the Spanish Main   Tiny pirates ahoy!!     1/20/2005   (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice)
 
RISK!   What the hell's a Kamchatka?     8/15/2003   (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice)
 
Medabots   Build to Battle. Collect to Rule. Don't Sneeze.     6/6/2003   (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice)
 
Battle Masters   Tabletop war! ... That doesn't fit on the table!     3/29/2003   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 
Full Thrust   I dinna think me wee bairns cin take it, Cap'n!     1/10/2003   (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice)
 
Battle Cattle   Udderly Fantastic!     10/10/2002   (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice)
 
Dragon Dice   Dice, Dice Baby!     9/25/2002   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 
Battle Ground   REVIEW PENDING     7/13/2011     Not Rated
 
Infinite Armies   Infinitely cool!     8/14/2005   (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice)
 
ULTIMATE COMBAT!   Boot to the Head... =THUMP!=     11/30/2003   (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice)
 
Shadowfist   Equal Opportunity Butt Kicking!     8/1/2003   (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice)
 
Wyvern   Heeeeere, lizard, lizard, lizard...     7/21/2003   (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice)
 
Blood Wars   One Hell of a Good Game!     7/17/2003   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 
Munchkin   Play the Way You've Always Wanted To Play!     6/7/2003   (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice)
 
Spellfire   Master the Freakin' Magic!     10/9/2002   (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice)
 

 

Role Playing Game & Supplement Reviews

Role Playing Game    Review Title   Review
Date 		  Rating 
             

Savage Worlds:

  Necropolis 2350

   Sure, he's dead. But is he dead dead?   11/23/11   (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice)
             

Warhammer 40,000:

  Dark Heresy

   In the 41st Millennium, There Is Only War! And It's Grim. And Dark.   10/13/2011   (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice)
             
Thousand Suns: Starships   Kick the Tires, Let's Take 'Er Out For a Spin!   7/3/2011   (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice)
             
Colonial Gothic   This Ain't In the History Books!   6/24/2011   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
             

AFMBE:

  The Book of Archetypes

   I want the type that doesn't get my face eaten.   6/4/2011   (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice)
             
             
Arrgh! Thar Be Zombies!   Ahoy! Undead off the port bow!   5/31/2011   (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice)
             
All Flesh Must be Eaten   Awesome Undead Apocalypse!   4/10/2011   (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice)
             
Hard Nova 2   A Galactic Trek Like Fireflies in a Babylon Farscape Far, Far Away!   1/30/2011   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
             
The Savage World of Solomon Kane   That's One Savage Puritan!   11/28/2010   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
             
Trail of Cthulhu   Cthulhu!... Gesundheit.     9/12/2009   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 
GURPS 4th Ed. Basic Set   That's The Sound Of A Good Game     7/28/2009   (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice)
 
Angel   REVIEW PENDING     12/28/2011     Not Rated
 
Over the Edge (2nd Ed.)   REVIEW PENDING     12/28/2011   Not Rated
 
Qin: The Warring States   REVIEW PENDING     12/28/2011     Not Rated
 
Weapons of the Gods   Bad-Ass Kung Fu and Big Silly Weapons     9/2/2010   (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 
Night of the Ninja!   REVIEW PENDING     12/28/2011    Not Rated
 
Battlestar Galactica   Galactic Battling Among the Stars!     10/12/2008   (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice)
 
Thousand Suns   Sunglasses! Where are my sunglasses?!     9/13/2008   (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice)
 
Army of Darkness   Hail to the king, baby.     2/16/2006   (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice)
 
The World of Darkness   Hey! Didn't we pay the electric bill?    10/30/2005   (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice)
 
Savage Worlds   It's a Savage World out there!     7/7/2005   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 
Unknown Armies   Oh, Yeah? You and what army?     5/7/2005   (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice)
 
Star Wars: The Roleplaying Game   It Ain't Like Dustin' Crops, Boy!     3/6/2005   (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice)
 
Paranoia (2nd Ed.)   Are you looking at me?... ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME?!     2/20/2005   (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice)
 
Buffy the Vampire Slayer   Be the Chosen One! Just don't miss cheerleading.     1/22/2005   (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice)
 
Toon: The Cartoon Roleplaying Game   Sssshh! Wur hunting wabbits.     11/27/2004   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 
Raven Star   Tigers in SPAAAAACE!     10/15/2004   (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice)
 
Dawnfire   Do you smell something burning?     8/14/2004   (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice)
 
Time Lord   Is there a Doctor in the house?     8/1/2004   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 
Chi Chian   Roach problem?... They're the good guys!     7/25/2004   (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice)
 
Stupor Powers!   Look! Up in the sky!... What the hell is that?!     5/16/2004   (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice)
 
Fading Suns   Why's it so dark in here?     5/6/2004   (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice)
 
Tales From the Floating Vagabond   I'll have a whiskey... no, make it seven.     4/23/2004   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 
Ghostbusters, International   Who Ya Gonna Call? A bunch of gamers!     4/2/2004   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 
The Seventh Seal   Blessed be the roleplayers, for they are cool.     3/13/2004   (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice)
 
Space: 1889   The Future is Dirigibles on Mars! Cheerio!     2/15/2004   (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice)
 
TimeLords   Time For a New Game.     1/18/2004   (1 out of 5 Dice) (1 out of 5 Dice) (1 out of 5 Dice) (1 out of 5 Dice) (1 out of 5 Dice)
 
The Babylon Project   It was our last, best hope for gaming...     1/3/2004   (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice)
 
Guns and Girls   One Out of Two Ain't Bad!... OK, yes it is.     12/27/2003   (1 out of 5 Dice) (1 out of 5 Dice) (1 out of 5 Dice) (1 out of 5 Dice) (1 out of 5 Dice)
 
It Came From The Late, Late, Late Show   Revenge of the Killer Zombie Surf Aliens!     10/18/2003   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 
Nexus: The Infinite City   Is this the reality where chicks dig me?     9/21/2003   (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice)
 
Hong Kong Action Theater!   Allow me to put my honorable foot up your ass.     8/14/2003   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 
Star Trek: The Next Generation Role Playing Game   To Boldly Go Where?!     6/3/2003   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 
Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai   Live by the Code. Die by the Code.     2/21/2003   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 
Feng Shui   "Rearrange your furniture, dominate the world."     2/8/2003   (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice)
 
The Adventures of Indiana Jones   "Fortune and glory, kid... fortune and glory."     1/13/2003   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 
Marc Miller's Traveller (4th Ed.)   In Space, No One Can Hear You Game...     1/9/2003   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 
Macho Women With Guns   You say crazy bitch like it's a bad thing.     10/24/2002   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 
Extreme Vengeance   Ah like you. Ah vill kill you last.     10/14/2002   (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice) (2 out of 5 Dice)
 
Ninja Burger RPG (1st Ed.)   The severed head of your clan enemy!... Want fries with that?     10/4/2002   (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice)
 
Vampire: The Masquerade   How would you like your stake?     10/2/2002   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 
Immortal: Millennium   Oh, my god... Wait! That's me!     9/13/2002   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
             

Savage Worlds

  Sci-Fi Gear Toolkit

   I Need A Neutronic Flux Destabilizer, Stat!   1/29/2011   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
             
Rippers   Things That Go Rip In The Night   1/18/2011   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
             
50 Fathoms   What do you mean, everyone has beachfront property?   6/5/2010   (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice)
             

Thousand Suns:

  Foundation Transmissions

   Hey! We get WiFi out here?!     6/1/2010   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 
Dork20 Deck   A Dork Just When You Need One!     8/23/2009   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 

Savage Worlds:

  Sundered Skies

   Now You Did It... It's Broken!     8/19/2009   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 

EABA - WarpWorld

This review has been tragically lost in the ether. I blame leprechauns.

   Let's Do the Time Warp Again     4/22/2008   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 

EABA -  Code: Black

   Somebody needs to deal with the Weird Crap.     5/22/2007   (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice)
 
Goods & Gear: The Ultimate Adventurer's Guide   The silgrom-rurgahz is how much?!     4/11/2006   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 
Traveller's Tales: Seas of Blood   Yo ho, yo ho! It's an orcish pirate's life for me!     3/8/2006   (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice)
 
Palladium Supplement Books, various   Is That A Bouzdykan in Your Pants, Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?    3/20/2005   (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice)
 

 

Video Game Reviews

Video Game    Review Title   Review
Date 		  Rating 
             
 
Dungeons & Dragons Online: Stormreach   Wait... it's D&D and a video game?! GEEK HEAVEN!     6/5/2008   (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice)
 
RuneScape online MMORPG   You'll rune all my fun!!     4/6/2006   (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice)
 
Planescape: Torment   Infernal eternal amnesia!     4/2/2005   (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice)
 

Scourge of Worlds

  Special Collector's Edition

   Save the world!... Again!     2/17/2005   (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice)
 
Scourge of Worlds   You know, this world could use a good scourging...     3/14/2004   (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice) (3 out of 5 Dice)
 
Stone Prophet   Ehh, Go Cry to Your Mummy.     12/28/2003   (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice) (4 out of 5 Dice)
 
Dungeon Keeper   "If you only knew the power of the Dark Side..."     1/16/2003   (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice) (5 out of 5 Dice)
 
 

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