Dungeon Keeper (1997)

Bullfrog Productions, Ltd.

Date Reviewed: 1-16-2003

Critical Kobold Rating:    (5 out of 5 Dice)

 

     Of all the video games I’ve had the pleasure of playing, I find it hard to think of a game that provided so much inebriatingly demented joy as Dungeon Keeper!

     The wonderfully nefarious idea behind this game is that you play the bad guy, a sinister evil overlord who rules the underground depths with an iron hand (that slaps gleefully). You design a dark and dangerous lair, populate it with nasty monsters and traps, and attack and terrorize the good humans living above you in their happy little cities.

     Oh, how heinously delightful!

     And if the first wasn't enough, there was also a DK2, which is even more awesome, if that's possible. This review should suffice for both games, since while the specifics of game play and strategies are different for the original and its sequel, the basic ideas are the same for both.

     You begin with a dark block of unexplored underground territory, and a handful of magical imps to do your bidding. You command your imps to dig out a cave complex from the earth, thus mapping your territory (and possibly uncovering precious veins of gold or gems to mine for cash!) You then decide which rooms to build and how to lay out your cavern complex.

     As your complex grows, you will attract various monsters to your dark army. To begin with, you'll recruit monstrous beetles, flies, and spiders; not scarily powerful no, but as you gain larger complexes you can then attract orcs, trolls, and hellhounds, which are slightly smarter and stronger, and more effective in teams. Eventually, powerful Dungeon Keepers will be able to attract warlocks, demons, and dragons to their side. Your minions can research spells, build traps and structural reinforcements for your dungeon, or practice their fighting skills to improve their battle effectiveness. The more your creatures study, the higher level they become, and the more nasty they grow!

     YEAH, BABY!!

     When you’ve had some time to build your dungeon and train some evil peons, the good guys will come looking for you. Each level of play has a lord and his knightly retinue that will eventually attempt to besiege your complex, killing your monsters and destroying your Heart. The Heart is the key to your life; a room of energy, from which you draw your magical and evil powers. If the enemy destroys your Heart chamber, you lose the game. Waves of these enemy forces will come at you periodically until you manage to slay the lord of that level. Once this happens, you advance to the next stage and begin again.

     Every new dungeon level is incrementally harder and more interesting. Each level requires you to build a new dungeon, but also allows you to research new and exciting rooms, traps, and skills for your monsters. Oh, and all sorts of nasty evil critters can show up to help you in your quest to blot out goodness forever! One of my favorites is the Demon Spawn; giant, blobby, horned, cranky, otherwordly fighters with a serious case of toxic gas.

     Yes, that’s right. Lethal farts.

     Some of you reading this (the sicker ones; you know who you are...) are thinking right now, My gawd, man, does it get any better than that?! To which I say...

     LEATHER-CLAD... 

     SADOMASOCHISTIC...  

     DOMINATRIX...  

     SPELLCASTERS!!

     That’s right, you can recruit the Dark Mistress, who enters your dungeon once you build a torture chamber. Attracted to the pain of others (and themselves), your Mistresses will actually strap themselves into your various torture devices when not engaged in some other activity. While one of the most bizarre additions to your forces, the Mistresses are also first-rate ass-kickers.

     Now, while this might sound groovy so far, do not think that’s all there is to this scenario. Oh, no, my little overlordling! As the head honcho, the main man, the supreme evilness in the land, it’s up to you to manage all the mundane tasks that must be seen to when one is taking over the world.

     First, there are the monsters themselves. They all have AI (artificial intelligence programming) built into the game that allows them to take care of basic tasks; for instance, all of your minions need to sleep and eat, and periodically during the game they’ll walk themselves to your hatcheries and gorge themselves on the tasty chickens you’re raising there, or go to their barracks and snooze. Some have preferred activities like gambling or researching, and if they’re not allowed to perform these activities they become disgruntled, perhaps downright hostile. Any minions who become highly pissed will leave your dungeon, thus reducing your forces. It’s up to you to manage your forces, keeping them both busy and happy.

Note the graphics differences between the the original DK (left), and DK2 (right).

 These are chicken hatcheries. You need to provide food for your loyal servants, and as they work, they'll occasionally wander into the hatchery and snack on some fowl. You have to provide large enough hatcheries to sustain your populace, or things will get ugly... I mean, more ugly than a bunch of goblins already are...

 In the pic on the right, some bloated demons take a snack break to savor some tasty chickens. You can zoom in on them and watch them catch and snarf the hens, complete with sound effects. I told you this game is awesome!

This is a view of a standard dungeon complex treasury. Your minions will wander here every payday and take their wages from the gold your imps have mined from the rock walls. If you run out of gold, you risk your henchmen going on strike, or worse... they may start destroying your dungeon!

     One of the best ways to manage your forces, by the way, is to slap the bejeezus out of them. Your cursor is the infamous Hand of Evil, a gnarled claw of a hand that you use to pick up your creatures, or point them towards their tasks. With a right-click, you can soundly slap any of your servants, making them temporarily work harder and faster (but giving them some boo-boos as well). Your Dark Mistresses LOVE this. Your hatchery chickens explode in a wonderful frenzy of feathers when backhanded.

     (On a side note, my wife bought her own copy of this game simply to slap the hell out of the chickens. I don’t wanna hear about how strange I am...)

     Next, there are your resources. You must pay your minions, and use gold mined by your imps to build rooms and equipment. If you run out of gold, you’re in a jam. Care must also be taken to plan the strategic layout of your foul den! Invaders will swarm into your Heart unless you protect it with walls and doors and traps. Monsters will take more travel time if their lairs are too far from the hatcheries or treasuries. Enemies may spring their captured comrades from your jails if they aren’t positioned deep within your complex. These things must all be considered if you expect to hide safely within your fortress of nastiness.

     Also, each room type you learn to build offers greater tactical advantages, so don't forget to allow your warlocks, vampires, and mistresses to study in the library! The long-term effects of having a dedicated research team can't be overlooked. Some rooms seem like they're just for pointless fun, but everything serves a purpose, if you can find a way to use it. For example, building a disco seems retarded, until you realize that allowing your minions to boogey down once in a while improves their morale, and they perform better.

The GOOD

     Kids, believe me when I say I don’t even know where to begin to tell you about all the rich chocolatey evil goodness in this game! First, with you every step of the way is your mentor. This helpful Boris Karloff-like voice gives you helpful tips to get you started playing, such as telling you which rooms you should build, and when problems may be occurring in your dungeon that you should be aware of (“Keeper, your minions are fighting amongst themselves!”). As the game progresses, he warns you of possible dangers, and tells you how new rooms or spells function.

     He’s an oddball at times, as well. Once in a while, your mentor will make the most bizarre comments, apparently simply to amuse you. For instance, if you play long enough, he may blurt out something like, “Your dungeon is damp. Install central heating!” or "New mail has arrived!"  These aren't related to the game in any way, and that's what makes them so funny. Also, the game is connected to your PC’s calendar and clock, so if you happen to be playing for several hours at a time, or late at night, your mentor will casually suggest that you go get some sleep. If you’re taking too long to complete a level or attack the enemy, he’ll accuse you of being incompetent or cowardly.

     Because of this calendar aspect, the game is also able to offer some fantastic gimmicks. For example, there are secret game levels that are only available to you to play in the game when there’s an actual full moon in real life. Coooooool!

     With 20 levels to play, you’ll not only get many, many hours of absolutely fantastic game time the first go-around, but the different computer settings and strategic options give this game tremendous replay value. I'll be playing this game again and again for years to come, it’s that great.

The NEUTRAL

     I really have no ambivalent feelings about this game, so I’m using this space to briefly discuss Dungeon Keeper 2. Basically a continuation of the original idea, but with more bells and whistles. (And in some cases, I mean that literally.) The graphics are different, but the wonderfully bizarre and twisted comedy and plot are the same: as a Keeper victorious in the first game, you now plot against the denizens of the good and just lands of the kingdom, once more building your dungeons to defeat the king’s men and steal their portal gems, The portal gems will give you the power to ravage the lands above, turning all the land into a dark playground for your wicked legions. (Yeah, sounded like a hoot to me too.)

     DK2 mimics its predecessor, yes, but it’s beautiful and fun enough that you honestly can overlook that. The graphics are amazing, and the fun is as bloody and chaotic and warped as in the first game.

     The only cautionary note about both games is that one needs to seriously think about some of the levels and tactics one is going to use to exert one’s evil will on the land. There were many a-levels that I needed to play and play and replay before I learned how to not get my ass handed to me on a silver platter by the annoying forces of Good. Your creatures have a bewildering array of powers, and you’ll want to be familiar with them, and how they can work to your advantage. A strategy that works on one level will NOT always work on the next. This is not a game for the short-attention span crowd, in the end.

The EEEEEEVIL

     You.

     Bwaaaaaa ha ha ha hahaaaaa!

     What it comes down to is that I don’t have anything truly negative to say about these games. Sure, they can be annoying, and time-consuming, and frustrating. But mostly that adds to the fun. If you get stuck, it’s probably your own fault, and you’ll simply have to play smarter. Or more evilly...

     As far as I’m concerned, a role-player could ask for no better a game than Dungeon Keeper. Yeah, I know a lot of more recent games have rave reviews and a huge fan base, and DK has by now fallen by the wayside. But don’t let that fool you; I’ve played a number of the newer games, and I’m not putting them down, but five years from now I’ll be booting up my Gold Edition copy of Dungeon Keeper while those others will have been long shelved.

     And then I’ll be slapping chickens like crazy.

[Go to Critical Kobold Game Reviews Page]  OR  [Go to Critical Kobold Movie Reviews Page]