Gaming All Weekend

by Chris Cecil

(To the tune of Money for Nothing, with apologies to Dire Straits)

Now look at them gamers, that's the way you do it.
You play the card games and the rpg's.
That ain't workin', that's the way you do it.
Gaming all weekend with the D&D.

Now they're all ready, that's a Player's Handbook.
Lemme tell you, them guys ain't dumb.
Maybe get a blister from rolling a dee-ten
Maybe get a pizza 'fore they're done.

(Chorus)
We gotta roleplay in fantasy settings.
Super heroes, and cyber punk.
We gotta play cards, with new expansions.
We got shelves full of gaming junk.

See the little Goth boy with the velvet and the fake fangs?
Yeah, buddy, he plays a LARP.
That little Goth boy dresses like a vampire.
That little Goth boy takes his games to heart.

We gotta role play space opera settings;
Call of Cthulu, insanity.
We gotta buy more, with new expansions.
We got thousands of cards in sleeves.

I shoulda learned to be the DM.
I shoulda learned to play them games.
Look at that mama, she got it rollin’ polyhedrals
Man! We could have some fun.
And he’s up there, what’s that? "Neverwinter Nights"?
Bangin’ on the keyboard like a chimpanzee.
That ain’t workin’, that’s the way you do it.
Get your gaming all online, get PDFs for free.

We gotta roleplay in fantasy settings.
Super heroes, and cyber punk.
We gotta play cards, with new expansions.
We got shelves full of gaming junk.

Now that ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
You play a new game on ev'ry weekend.
That ain’t workin’, that’s the way you do it.
Gamin' for nothin’ and your chicks for free.
Gamin' for nothin’ and chicks for free.