I Ran

by Chris Cecil

(To the tune of “I Ran” by A Flock of Seagulls)

I walk inside the ancient ruins
I never thought I'd meet a lich like you (meet undead like you)
Worm-ridden hair and fiery eyes
The kind of eyes that hypnotize me through (got my party, too)
And I ran, I ran so far away
I just ran, I ran full movement rate…
I couldn't get away

A spell appears above your head
A beam of light comes shining from your hand (this wasn’t in our plan)
The spell is moving nearer still
You’ve char-broiled my band (it’s gotten out of hand)
And I ran, I failed my Cause Fear save
I just ran, from your spooky undead grave…
I couldn't get away

Reached out a sword to stab your face
You're slowly phase-shifting from my view (my blade, it went right through)
Reached out a wand to try again
I'm blasted by a Power Word from you (Hold Person spell from you)

And I ran, I hauled ass far away
I just ran; I ran, DM, okay??…
I couldn't get away

And I ran, I ran so far away
My PC ran, no longer wants to play…
I couldn't get away.