Dice Dice Baby

by Chris Cecil

(To the tune of "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice)

Yo, d20, let's kick it!
Dice Dice Baby, Dice Dice Baby!…
All right stop; grab a dice bag and listen.
Dice are back with a brand new selection.
Someone grabs ahold of a ‘twenty
Then I roll saves daily and nightly
Will it ever stop? Yo -- I don't know.
Turn off the lights and it'll glow!
To the extreme, I roll a dee-six like a vandal
Roll up hit points; ability checks I can handle
Dungeons!
Bum rush the monsters in rooms
I'm killing them all cuz my attack rolls are in tune
Deadly, when I toss a dee-twelve tonight
Anything less than d10 is a sad sight.
Love it or leave it, getting’ dice is the way
You better buy more dice, cuz you wanna play
If there is Initiative, Yo, I'll roll it
Check the dee-thirty while my DM revolves it
Dice Dice Baby Dice Dice Baby 
Dice Dice Baby Dice Dice Baby 
Now that the party is jumping
With percentiles kicked in, and the pre-inked are pumpin'
Quick to the toss, to the point no faking
Throw so many dice that the table is shaking
Replace them if they're not quick and nimble
Need a natural 20?… That’s simple!
And a dee-hundred rolls pretty piss-poor
I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo
Rollin' with my opaque fo’
Put my dicebag down so my hair can blow
The players on standby, waiting just to roll high
Did you stop? No-- I rolled snake-eyes.
Dice Dice Baby Dice Dice Baby 
Dice Dice Baby Dice Dice Baby Vanilla Dice
Yo man-- Let's get out of here!
Word to your DM!
Dice Dice Baby Too cold
Dice Dice Baby Too cold Too cold
Dice Dice Baby Too cold Too cold
Dice Dice Baby Too cold Too cold