You Might Be A Gamer If…
...losing your dice bag would be a serious financial
blow.
...you could paper your bathroom in character sheets.
...you could paper your bathroom in different versions
of just ONE character.
...you talk about your characters as if they are real
people.
...you alternate between referring to your characters in
the first and the third person.
... and none of your friends gets confused.
...you worship idols of Gary Gygax in your basement.
...you've ever seen the old Dungeons & Dragons cartoon.
...you're still reading this list.
...you hang out with people you actively dislike because
they give good role-play.
...you've ever gotten into a screaming match over
something that happened in a game... (“You are so dead!” “I am not dead!”)
...you keep old characters around just in case someone
ever runs that rpg again. (Never mind that it’s TS: SI)
...you knew what I meant when I said TS:SI.
...you have a Ph.D. in manipulating point systems to the
best effect, even though you failed high school geometry.
...you can consume your body weight in junk food in one
gaming session.
...you consider Altoids, Salt-&-Vinegar chips, and blue
Teeni Hugs a balanced diet (or even an acceptable combination) .
...you own your own weight in gaming books.
...the owners of local hobby stores take your checks
without ID because they know where you live.
...you can do AD&D money conversions in your head.
...you consider the 21st century a state of mind.
...you have a random NPC generator, written in BASIC,
designed to run on the Commodore 64.
...you've ever designed your own character sheets.
...you can be more that three NPCs at the same time
without generating confusion in your players.
...you’ve ever played a dwarven character who didn’t
have "axe" or "beard" ANYWHERE in his name.
...you're STILL reading this list.
...you've mistaken a d12 for a d20 and had a THAC0 low
enough to hit the 8HD monster, anyway.
...you understood that THAC0 reference.
...your AC is so low that even you can't hit yourself.
...you've ever discovered, after gaming with your
significant other, that you like their character better than you do them.
...you have friends or acquaintances who regularly refer
to you as "Og" (or something similar) . [Slag!]
...you've ceased responding to your birth name.
...you spend more money on dice than on food.
...you sometimes forget what century this is.
...your first response to any frustrating situation is,
"I bash it with my axe."
...your friends who don’t game feel left out of your
conversations.
...you have more gaming books than the local hobby
store.
...you've discovered that spare dice make good beanbag
filler.
...you knew that that last question was a ringer. Who
has more dice than they can use?
...you still laugh when someone says "Dave, get the
barbarian in the corner another drink, quick!"
...you play characters as different from you in race,
religion, gender, or sexual orientation as possible, just to confuse your
friends.
...you've thought of four or five additions to this
list.
...you actually bought TSR's Dungeoneer's Survival Guide
when it first came out.
...someone is attempting to explain the floorplan of a
building to you and you immediately start thinking in terms of 10' x 10'
squares
...your first thought upon walking into a friend's house
is to ponder where you'd put the machine-gun nest.
...you and your friends have spent a screening of "The
Crow" assigning vampire clans to the various characters.
...you've ever gotten weird looks from other customers
at places like Denny's or IHOP because of the nature of your
conversations.
...a friend screws something up, and you respond with,
"Looks like you failed your_________ roll."
...you've actually paid to have custom fangs made.
...you've ever argued against a combat rule based on
your experience in the SCA/Military/Police, etc.
...you have a dozen things
in mind for when you come across a magic lamp.
... when you talk about the "good old days" you mean
when games cost $12 and came with their own dice.
... if you played a different game every week, you'd need
a year to use your RPG collection to its full extent.
... the six-siders in your dice bag have been worn down
to the point that they look like 20-siders.
... your car and/or home is falling apart, you're
wearing the same clothes you wore in the 1980's, and you miss meals
regularly, but you've got the money in the bank for the next year's worth
of products.
... if your computer broke down, your biggest worry is
how you'd print out your character sheets.
... your character has more close friends than you do.
... you have more Star Frontiers modules than you have
text books.
... you could write a biography of your character more easily
than you could write your own autobiography.
... you think that such a biography WOULD BE an
autobiography.
... you can't find your car keys, but you know where all
the dice that came with your first D&D set are.
... you remember when games gave you tips on "inking"
dice with crayon.
... you can give no fewer than six different speeches on
"What is roleplaying?", verbatim, from the introductions to different
games.
... you've bought a game even though you didn't like the
genre or the rules, so that you could fix the rules and convert them to a
different genre.
... you've looked into how much it would cost to build a
castle.
... there is virtually no game that you can't name the
genre, company, or country of origin for.
... your most important criteria for a mate is that
they're a gamer, too.
... you remember when all games referred to characters
as "he".
...your idea of a fun Friday night consists of getting
the gang together and playing for eight or more hours.
...the only reason you want a lake cabin is so you and
the gang can go up there and play non-stop all weekend without any
distractions.
...everything you see, hear, or taste translates into
some form of stats for a game.
...you make up songs like "Oops, I Killed It Again!" and
"Fun Fun Fun (Till the Horror took her Free Will Away)"
...you've written character histories that are longer
than most novels.
...you can mentally figure the exact chance of a 1st-level Mage
defeating an umber hulk from memory, though a "bvanen" takes a little
work.
...you break your leg, but insist on using a 'Recovery
Check' before calling the ambulance.
...you have a list of what all the potions taste like.
...your resumé describes you as a '5th-Level Civil
Engineer'
...you've figured out that the average AD&D Great Wyrm
Red Dragon has 7 cubic feet of treasure.
...you demand experience points after winning a
fistfight.
...you have a nickname that makes no sense because one
of your characters had it.
... you've ever constructed yourself as a character.
...you've got more tables than all the restaurants in
town.
...you know how to use dice as weapons.
...you know how many hit points every member of your
family has.
...you know that you can fit 20 d4's together to make a
large d20 because you've actually tried it.
...you know what the following names originally stood
for: SPI, SJG, FBI, FGU, TSR, FASA
... you own Dragon magazines below issue Number 100.
... you bought a copy of the French-language edition of
Dragon, even though you can't read French, because it had Second Edition
rules for the Anti-Paladin class, and even though you don't like the
class, you know that having that issue will really annoy the Anti-Paladin
fans in your gaming club.
... game dealers at Gen Con recognize you and know your
name.
Thanks to "Warmaster" for this list
idea! |
